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| writerscafe.org |
The failings of past feminism lay within the assumption that
we must reject gender specific behaviour. What was intended as a form of
emancipation set out constraints with the idea that, in a male dominated world,
we must be more like men in order to get respect. Although this may have been
appropriated as a metaphor, it denies women from embracing their femininity.
Welcome to the culture of misogyny where patriarchy still rules. We do not need to reject our femininity. Both men and
women need to embrace the aspects that reflect the sensitive side of our
personalities. Femininity is not a weakness, but a real strength in a culture
built on individualistic aggression. It is men's failure to embrace their
femininity that has created a culture of misogyny.
Femininity is truly the road to both women's and men's
emancipation. Explore what it truly means to be a woman or man in the 21st
century. Forget stereotypical restrictive roles. Reject the thoughts of the
elite whose only interest is profit. Capitalism places unrealistic expectations
on men and women. The assumption is that you are of no value unless you have a
high-powered corporate job and hoard tons of materialistic acquisitions that
define your identity, a sports car. Success is not measurable by your bank
balance, your competitive grades at school and college or the width of your
muscles. The more we resist notions of aggressive masculinity, the freer we
become. Learn to rethink what your values really are in life. Freedom comes from
feelings of personal and creative fulfillment. Look at the shallow and pathetic
lives these supposedly successful males like Charlie Sheen have. No matter how
much fame, 'acquisition' of pre-pubescent females he acquires, coke he snorts,
he is still an aggressive miserable excuse of a human being, incapable of
expressing tenderness to anyone.
As women, we need to celebrate our gifts. Our ability to be
tender is empowering: gentleness is not passivity but a real tool against the aggressors of
this world. Men need to talk, discover their true feelings, and learn to express their thoughts in a constructive
way. Keeping their fears and anxieties to themselves creates a cycle of
frustration in which some men lash out at their partners, and FEEL threatened by their emotions. This kind of aggression is deemed
as socially acceptable. Of course it is never acceptable to be aggressive, but these are the frameworks in which some men learn to react. We live in a selfish society that teaches men that they can't hug
another man, to raise a fist instead of talking. It's a prison sentence that men need to break out
of… but you need the tools to free you.
Listen, masculine aggression is not innate: it is the
product of power, patriarchy, domination and culture. Forget the evolutionary
psychologists who'll tell you otherwise in order to perpetuate myths on gender specific roles and keep the grinding
wheels of capitalism in place.
Although aggression may, at its most primal, be a kind of
gut instinct to our survival, it does not determine or reflect the social
conditions that we are thrown into. By accepting it as natural, innate and
inevitable, it assumes that there is no other way. And there is. Cry, talk,
express your feelings, and don't hide behind a veil of indifference. Fuck the
shit that tells you boys don't cry. Real men do cry.
